Sometimes I wish people would actually take this saying to heart. Or rather lets change it from America, to Valentines Day.
There are few things in the world I despise, but Valentines Day is truly one of them. Valentines Day has completely lost the value of what its original purpose was. Today the holiday is strictly a commercial holiday. It is a way for businesses to make a quick buck, girls to get materialistic gifts, and guys to get laid. What ever happened to the affection, intimacy, and love between two individuals that was suppose to be shown on Valentines Day?
Now-a-days we have many singles ordering each other flowers, chocolates, and go out to eat with one another to combat feelings of loneliness. Girls as a whole care more about that new necklace, flowers, or romantic evening where absolutely everything goes perfect. Guys are scarred to death that if they don't get the "perfect" gift, their girlfriend will throw a dramatic temper tantrum, because Valentines Day is for the ladies now right? Or there's always the large number of guys who see Valentines Day as a way to buy their girlfriend something she wants and in return get some action.
Well, lets be serious, I'm bias, like I said, I despise Valentines Day. My conclusions as to what I've seen happen among people in the past, and days leading up to Valentines Day is probably just a bunch of bias crap that I'm making up to be stubborn. If you're thinking this way, let me introduce you to one of the many, "official" studies in regards to Valentines Day. In 2004 Katherine Morse and Steven Neuberg, professors at George Mason and Arizona State University did a study following the relationship outcomes for 245 undergraduate students (99 male and 146 female; mean age of 19.5 years) from the week before to the week after Valentine's Day. The average relationship across all research participants was 18 months, suggesting that these were meaningful relationships. The results may surprise you, especially if you consider yourself a romantic at heart.
The first finding in this study is that Valentine's Day does have an increase in suicide rates: essentially, because they believe people really start to experience feelings of loneliness during the holidays (e.g., Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years), but they are often to busy with family and friends during the "Holiday Season", that they essentially postpone suicide acts until a later date, which happens to be around Valentines Day, where feelings of loneliness are only greater. I remember telling someone about this two years ago (when I had a Valentine and still hated the holiday) that person told me those people that committed suicide were just insecure idiots. Well, true they might be insecure, but I think lovers don't need a set day to express their love, instead of making Valentines Day, Single's Awareness Day.
The second finding that they were able to find, thanks to their research was that the overall odds of breaking up were 5.49 times greater during the two week period comprised of one week before Valentines Day to one week after Valentines Day. They found that the reason for the higher likelihood of breaking up was from diminishing expectations of their partner, and unfavorable comparisons to other relationships or other potential partners, such relationships might be deemed not worth the effort and expenses associated with trying to successfully play out the Valentine's Day script, thus "making the option of relationship dissolution more attractive" (Morse and Neuberg 2004). Sound familiar anyone?
Alright, so if a holiday to show love for your relationship partner, actually increases the chance that a break-up could occur, why would our country ever celebrate such a holiday? This study proves my point that this holiday has turned into a commercial holiday. It is about the businesses making their money (projected $17.6 billion in sales in 2012), and the "lovers" getting what they want. If they don't get that new necklace, sex, etc. then human nature inevitably leads us to be jealous. If our partner isn't able to out due our last Valentine, then they must not love us as much right?
WRONG!
People in my generation, (16-26) as a whole do not understand what love is. Love isn't what is in it for me. Love is not about having sex. Love is not about having your partner give you what you want all the time. Love is a give and take. Love is work. Love is sacrifice. An example of what Love is can be found in the story of "The Gift of the Magi"
"The Gift of the Magi."
"There was a young couple, very poor, married, and very much in love with each other. Christmas is coming and there is no money to buy gifts for one another. Her prized possession was her long, lovely hair which she had grown since childhood. His prized possession was his solid gold pocket watch-an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. Come Christmas morning, she hands her beloved a package. It is a solid gold chain for his pocket watch. He hands his beloved a package. It is a bejeweled comb to hold her beautiful hair in a bun of top of her head. They both cried with joy even though he no longer had the pocket watch, as he had sold it to buy her the jeweled comb, and she no longer had long hair, as she had sold it to buy him the gold chain. Neither could use the gift the other had given them from a store- but look at the gift each truly got from the other."
When you truly love somebody you give them what they really need. Relationships are comprised of two people, not one. If you have a Valentine this Valentines Day and you don't get that new necklace don't freak out. Be thankful that you have somebody that takes the time out to love you.
I believe that if you truly love someone, you don't need a Valentines Day to show that to one another. It should be Valentine's Day year round. You should express your love daily. You don't need to have sex, buy jewelry, flowers, or go on dates, just because it's February 14th, perform these acts spontaneously throughout the entire year!
Early love is when you love the way another person makes you feel. Mature love is when you love the person as he or she is... It is the difference between passionate and compassionate love. What kind of love do you have with this Valentine? Mature love doesn't mean you have to always feel good because of the other person. If you don't believe me I dare you to try to start loving your significant other as he or she is, don't nag about who you want them to be. If your "lover" isn't who you want them to be then you need to do one of two things,
1.) Realize perfection isn't going to happen, often people let "minor" things turn into "major" things and let it ruin their relationship. No one is going to be 100% perfect for you, however I do believe there are plenty of A's out there for you if you know what I mean! :)
or
2.) Get out of the relationship. If you're not going to be happy, there is no point of staying in a relationship, if you're not going to be happy, and constantly nag, you're only going to get frustrated, as well as make your partner frustrated. I can assure you as much as you think there is "only one person" in the world out there for you, it's a bunch of crap. I believe God made a multitude of people that we are compatible with, which can lead into an intimate relationship. Having only one person in the world for us, would be way to easy for Satan to interfere and mess up.
Love creates bonds that one hopes will enable one to endure the greatest hardships, suffer the severest cruelty, and overcome any distance. What is this love that you think you're celebrating tomorrow? America doesn't need a day to recognize, "love." We should express "love" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and for all 365 days a year. Not just one. Valentines Day brings more problems then we would have if the day did not exist. Do what you please, but as for me, I'll take the "leave it" option on Valentine's Day.
If you are interested in reading more about the study by Morse and Neuberg go to,
http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?hid=10&sid=565b360e-00c0-4b18-90e0-b51c7c6fb721%40sessionmgr11&vid=6&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=14927889
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